Download Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks by Douglas Sarine, Kent Nichols PDF

By Douglas Sarine, Kent Nichols

Lethal NINJA knowledge FOR THE NON-NINJA

Carefully give some thought to the enjoyment of your soft-headed lack of understanding ahead of you start to run, turn, and leap alongside the Ninja Path.
  
After a lot debate and in a spirit of morbid entertainment, the overseas Order of Ninjas has selected to supply The Ninja Handbook, the first-ever mystery ninja education consultant particularly designed for the non-ninja.
Most non-ninjas who deal with those tender, lethal pages will die–probably in an elaborately terrible and painful demeanour. yet no matter if your trip lasts 5 seconds or 5 days or (rather inconceivably) 5 years, all those that bravely soak up this article and keep on with the tenets and trials laid out inside of will die realizing they have been as ninja as they potentially could’ve been.

For the genuine of center or the super fortunate, this robust and honorable manuscript includes such extra special ninja knowledge as:

•How to create and identify your personal deadly ninja clan
•The right weapon to take advantage of while combating a vampire pumpkin
•Why clowns and robots are so harmful at the Internet
•Easy-to-follow charts displaying whilst to slice and whilst to stab
•How to execute such ultradeadly kicks because the using leave out Daisy
•Why pretty well each ninja motion picture ever made sucks
•How to make a shoggoth explode utilizing well-placed foliage
•What the heck a shoggoth is and why you’ll intend to make it explode
•Death Aide certification
•And even more ninjafied enlightenment on each shuriken-sharp page!

Remember: humans don't take the trail, the trail takes humans.

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Extra info for Ask a Ninja Presents The Ninja Handbook: This Book Looks Forward to Killing You Soon

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But wait. 6 You’ll have a similar experience with the Transition. Shortly, you’ll return to a state of calm and normalcy, and all those awful memories of the day you were bitten will seem like nothing more than a bad dream. Your hormones may still continue to rage every now and then, but they can be kept at bay utilizing Romerin (see Chapter 3) and by maintaining a positive outlook and an urbane persona. Legal Ch-ch-ch-changes No discussion about your rapidly evolving condition would be complete without addressing your new legal status.

It was rumored that upon completion of the second book, the author spent several months at Betty Ford mumbling and recuperating. Old habits die hard. Moving On As a result of implementing the 14 Habits (or at least the first seven), your mind will, technically speaking, give these habits “cuts” at the front of the brain line. As with the diction test, by having practiced these regularly, you’ll be better positioned to succeed in the post-life. And in the big picture, you’ll feel oodles better about yourself.

The world doesn’t need any more poseurs. Let’s say you were invited to a swanky soirée. You wouldn’t want to show up and behave like a heathen, now, would you? Of course not—you’d choose to be that same slick operator you’ve always been. Indeed, you want to exude the requisite dignity (there’s that word again), grace, and charm to make everyone gaga at the gala. While the following chapters will address external issues such as hygiene, grooming, and diet, this chapter will focus on bettering your internal self.

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